If The Sass Fits, Wear It

Pre-Coffee Convo

2011-10-20T18:13:00.001-04:00

Guess who's back! It's been about a year since my last post. I haven't had much to say but thinking back over the last year there's been a LOT that has happened. I'll get to all that in future posts.

Let's get to the Pre-coffee Convo. This morning something awful happened!!! The coffee machine...broke! Before any of us had a single cup and the worst part? No tech's at our coffee company were available today. Not until tomorrow.

I received a call this morning from a particularly irate person. Not even a customer. Just a random woman. The convo went a little something like this:

Me: cheerful (albeit NOT as chipper from lack of coffee) greeting...
Angry Lady: is this YOUR ad in the paper??
Me: (proudly) YES! Is there a particular vehicle you're interes.....
Angry Lady: YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES!!!
Me: WTF?
Even angrier now lady: you should take this ad down right now every time I I click on their...
Me: (gigantus interuptus) OH! You're on their web site. Well I can help you stop those from coming up (yes! Knocking an angry batch off of her high horse!) I ask what type of web browser she's using.
Angry Lady: FOX!!
Me: (stifling my laugh) Firefox? Well here, go to Settin...
Crazy angry lady: I am disGUSTED AND WILL NEVER ever buy from..
Me: Click

I don't do well with being screamed at prior to my morning cup. Or wine. But we all know how the whole drinking on the job thing goes over.

Anyway, hope to keep up with all of you a lot more now!

K

Handle With Care

2011-01-09T20:55:00.001-05:00

Well, I finally finished it! I was really starting to cut it close too. The Popo’s sister over at NEO Book Club started the club about a month ago. I NEVER thought I would ever say “I’m in a book club”. I’ve never been a very avid reader by any means. I can remember when my parents would try to get me to read over summer break…..SUMMER BREAK! Needless to say, I never did. I don’t even think I read the novels that were required reading throughout high school English classes. Actually, I’m wrong. I read One. Only because we had to read it out loud in class. The Crucible. Don’t ask me what it’s about, because I couldn’t tell you.

I can now since I just looked it up on Wikipedia, but whatever.

Anyway, we had our first book club meeting today. I participated more than I thought I would! It was a lot of fun and it’s great to hear everyone else’s point’s of view, especially parts that I forgot. This was my first Jodi Picoult novel and I will definitely be reading more of her books. Everyone seems to have “My Sisters Keeper” as their favorite.

Has anyone ready any of her books? Any opinions? Has anyone read HWC?

Taking Down the Tinsel

2011-01-04T13:35:00.001-05:00

When do you think it’s appropriate to take down your Christmas/Holiday décor? Typically, ours goes up right after Thanksgiving and I’d prefer it come down the weekend of/after New Years.

I took some down over the weekend, but left the rest. I guess part of me just doesn’t want to let go of the holiday. It just went way too fast. I’m not complaining, just missing it. I’d love for the summer to come around again. Warm weather, sitting outside. Le Sigh, only a few more months…..

Day 1, Happy New Year

2011-01-01T17:18:00.000-05:00

So it starts! Day One of number six on my resolution list.

How was everyone's New Years Eve? Mine was fun, just enough to the champagne flowing and get some great pictures. I can't believe an entire year has gone by already. I sat back today thinking about last years party and everything that followed throughout the year. How things have changed and how quickly it went by. Things I want to do different this year, things I want to stay just the way they are.

The Girls

The Boys

The Popo :)

The Bambino

Hope everyone has a great new year!

The Curse of the Christmas "Gift"

2010-12-22T09:17:00.000-05:00

You're probably thinking "How the hell are Christmas gifts a curse?" technically the actual present is NOT a curse, however, being able to guess just about anything that is wrapped by just a poke at the wrapping paper or a lift of the gift.

I.Have.This.~~Gift~~.Curse. People would probably kill to have this, I don't want it. My dad was ALWAYS able to do this when I was growing up and I couldn't figure it out. Drove me crazy. Now it's even worse because I LIKE TO BE SURPRISED! There's nothing worse than finding out your gift then having to wait to rip it open Christmas morning only to already know what you're getting.

For this reason, The Popo, for years, has never put out my presents until the night before Christmas or a birthday or he's always hidden it because he's well aware of my gift. One year he told me over the phone that he got me a gift and barely gave a hint and I guessed it in two guess. Over the phone!

To my surprise and shock..... This year was different. I came home on Monday and my presents were wrapped and UNDER the tree....Is this some kind of test? torture maybe? I mean, like it was NO BIG DEAL! I wouldn't go near them, I knew if I got too close what would happen. It seem's like ever since I came home that night and saw them, the days have been DRAGGING! I ~~NEED~~ want to know what is in those boxes!!

As for The Popo's gift. It's not under the tree yet. I'm not sure that the Curse has rubbed off on him yet or not....and by that, I mean I haven't wrapped it yet LOL.

It's About That Time......Resolution Time!

2010-12-14T15:12:00.001-05:00

Yep, resolution time. Do any of you even make New Years Resolutions anymore? I make them year after year and typically never stick to them. However, I am proud to say that last year I stuck to my resolutions. I try to make a few so that way if I don't stick to one, I have several more to fall back on. Some may call it cheating, others call it OPTIONS.

I wish I could go back to my resolution post from last year to re-post and give my opinions. Oh well.

As I remember, they were mainly to be a lot better with money, become more domestic and just be an overall healthier person. I think I've done all three. I haven't done them to the fullest Martha Stewart extent, but who cares. I've done them and there's more years to come to continue to improve.

New Years Resolutions for 2011:

1. To continue with 2010's resolutions. Improve financial status, continue to cook/bake new things and continue with improving my health.
2. To have a more positive outlook with things.
3. To be on time to any and every function no matter what. I have a bad habit of being late to things.
4. To take better care of my car. (I'm sure the Popo will roll his eyes and say "yea right i'll believe that when I see it")
5. To paint/decorate our entire house. I don't care if it takes me all of 2011 and I have to do it in parts.
6. To write at least one blog post per day. I've seriously neglected this blog as of late and it has always been a good creative outlet.

I think six resolutions are sufficient to start off with. I'll have to try and do a quarterly update with everything. I'll need to print these out and keep them handy as a daily reminder.

Winter In Ohio

2010-12-14T10:09:00.000-05:00

I borrowed this from a co-worker who posted this on his Facebook. It's fitting. I've lived in Ohio all my life and I'm still not used to cold weather and a lot of snow. I can handle it, I just don't care to.

Our First Winter in Ohio...

Dear Diary:

Aug. 12 - Moved into our new home in Ohio . It is so beautiful here. The hills and river valleys are so picturesque. I have a beautiful old oak tree in my front yard. Can hardly wait to see the change in the seasons. This is truly God's Country.

Oct. 14 - Ohio is such a gorgeous place to live, one of the real special places on Earth. The leaves are turning a multitude of different colors. I love all of the shades of reds, oranges and yellows, they are so bright. I want to walk through all of the beautiful hills and spot some white tail deer. They are so
graceful, certainly they must be the most peaceful creatures on Earth. This must be paradise.

Nov. 11 - Deer season opens this week. I can't imagine why anyone would want to shoot these elegant animals. They are the very symbol of peace and tranquility here in Ohio . I hope it snows soon. I love it here!

Dec. 2 - It snowed last night. I woke to the usual wonderful sight: everything covered in a beautiful blanket of white. The oak tree is magnificent. It looks like a postcard. We went out and swept the snow from the steps and driveway. The air is so crisp, clean and refreshing. We had a snowball fight. I won, and the snowplow came down the street. He must have gotten too close to the driveway because we had to go out and shovel the end of the driveway again. What a beautiful place. Nature in harmony. I love it here!

Dec. 12 - More snow last night. I love it! The plow did his cute little trick again. What a rascal. A winter wonderland. I love it here!

Dec. 19 - More snow - couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work in time. I'm exhausted from all of the shoveling. And that snowplow!

Dec. 21 - More of that white shit coming down. I've got blisters on my hands and a kink in my back. I think that the snowplow driver waits around the corner until I'm done shoveling the driveway. Asshole.

Dec. 25 - White Christmas? More freakin' snow. If I ever get my hands on the sonofabitch who drives that snowplow, I swear I'll castrate him. And why don't they use more salt on these roads to melt this crap??

Dec. 28 - It hasn't stopped snowing since Christmas. I have been inside since then, except of course when that SOB "Snowplow Harry" comes by. Can't go anywhere, cars are buried up to the windows. Weather man says to expect another 10 inches. Do you have any idea how many shovelfuls 10 inches is??

Jan. 1 - Happy New Year? The way it's coming down it won't melt until the 4th of July! The snowplow got stuck down the road and the shithead actually had the balls to come and ask to borrow a shovel! I told him I'd broken 6 already this season.

Jan. 4 - Finally got out of the house. We went to the store to get some food and a goddamn deer ran out in front of my car and I hit the bastard. It did $3,000 in damage to the car. Those beasts ought to be killed. The hunters should have a longer season if you ask me.

Jan. 27 - Warmed up a little and rained today. The rain turned the snow into ice and the weight of it broke the main limb of the oak tree in the front yard and it went through the roof. I should have cut that old piece of shit into fireplace wood when I had the chance.

May 23 - Took my car to the local garage. Would you believe the whole underside of the car is rusted away from all of that damn salt they dump on the road? Car looks like a bashed up, heap of rusted cow shit.

May 10 - Sold the car, the house, and moved to Florida . I can't imagine why anyone in their freakin' mind would ever want to live in the God forsaken State of Ohio .

Sir, You're Scaring the Customers

2010-12-02T09:23:00.000-05:00

Have any of you seen the Miller Lite Dragon Clothes commercial? If not, here is the link to it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_T_FNR57q4U

That is almost exactly what happened to me at work yesterday....only I don't work in a bar.

This guy comes in here earlier in the day to drop off his car at the service department. He's got the $300 jeans with the bling on the ass & a black shirt w bling all over it. I giggle to myself, but that's about it. He comes back in the afternoon with his wife & daughter, the daughter had to be 18 or a little older.
He walks in and is all boisterous "hey! there she is, lets go to the pretty girl! see i told you, this is the coffee girl she's the coffee girl! you remember me? look how pretty she is this is the Coffee Girl!"
like sir, you KNOW you're with your wife......right?
Anyway, he kept calling me the coffee girl and his wife goes "um she's a lot more than that, you're a lot more than that honey!" I quickly ushered them over to the service department.

Even my deaf co-worker heard this guy from across the showroom! How embarrassing.

Ed Hardy called.....he wants his clothes back.

What Did You Say?

2010-11-11T18:28:00.000-05:00

A customer walked into our showroom yesterday and started to peruse the cars. He got to one with brown interior.

...And it goes a little somethin' like this:

Customer: This is a nice car. Which one of these is yours? (So original, Sir)
Me: It is, and that black one right there, valet up to my desk is a perk of working here. (Raises eyebrow, noting sarcasm)
Customer: This would be even nicer if the interior didn't look like Poop.
Me: *crickets*

Did he really just say that? How do you even respond? "Oh yes, actually that interior is from our Fecal line. It's all the new rage now among luxury vehicles.

You Know You Have It Good When......

2010-11-10T19:24:00.000-05:00

.....Your employer ever so graciously provides over ten (14 to be exact) different kinds of Keurig Coffee's and you know ~~shit ain't cheap~~ that you don't even have to do anything but put the cup underneath, put the K-Cup in and press brew. Seriously, out of 14 flavors you have to bitch about the ONE that just happens to be so popular that it's on backorder?

IN FRONT OF CUSTOMERS no less? You Scoff at it like that little cup contains something like the plague.

How about this, brew your own coffee at home or buy your own coffee on the way into work. I'm sure you wouldn't bother considering you don't bother too much with your wardrobe either. ~~Sweatpants are not work appropriate unless you work at home~~.

Be grateful for the things you are provided. Most employers give you generic caf or decaf.

Some Of You May Remember Me...

2010-11-07T10:27:00.000-05:00

Some of you may recall a blog called If The Sass Fits, Wear It!

This is it. Only, it's missing the last year of so of posts. I'm kicking myself for doing such a dumb thing. Since I've changed my login e-mail and permissions I had forgotten that I used another e-mail to start the blog up so long ago. I went through and deleted that e-mail since I no longer used it......I then went to sign in and post to my blog.

......and.it.was.gone.

I spent a lot of time on that blog and it was a memory of a really different time for me (for lack of a better word) and it's gone. I guess maybe that can be a good thing. Closing one chapter and beginning a new, refreshed sass!

Anyhoo, if you notice the new URL it's because I wasn't able to get the old one back. I'll keep trying over time. So please update your info if you were following me before....

http://if-thesassfits.blogspot.com

The Sass Is Back.